Gays, Grannies and Gagging....Palm Springs Edition

I only like to blog about meals when something funny happens. Like say, if you arrive to dinner in a limo to a restaurant that has performance posters outside, or you dance with an 85 year old man, or end up puking outside the limo over your mom’s lap. So when all three of those happened in one night I knew this was one for the blog.

Guest Bloggers + Sign of the performer...

The setting was Palm Springs over Easter, where we were the only non Gays or Grannies (props to Megan for the perfect description of PS) enjoying the place. Knowing that we would all be too sauced to drive home, we got a limo to take us to and from “The Nest”, http://www.gotothenest.com/site/. Notice that their slogan is “After 5 Life Begins Here.” It should actually read, “After  65, new boobies and a face lift, and 4 martinis, Life Begins Here.” 

Snapshot of the 50+ year old crowd

We were greeted by a hostess, no younger than 60 with a deep voice and boobs that looked like someone had slapped them right below her chin—you could tell that this place was going to be entertaining. We sat down around 7, which was late for those folks, and immediately ordered drinks. Little did I know that peer pressuring one member of the group to drink the martinis I liked would end up with quite an adventure… We ordered snails and artichokes which only a few of us would try—glad the sickling didn’t try one—throwing up a snail could scar you for life. 

Esgargot

For some reason I was feeling uber-butch, so I ordered a 16oz ribeye while the other two girls split a shrimp pasta (thank God I already have a boyfriend, otherwise I would be Screwed). 

Sad that I looked at the steak more lovingly than I would at a human....

 The two men ordered the fish, and Mrs. Smith ordered Frog Legs (again, I LOVE peer pressure). The steak sucked, but I’m pretty sure the cook prob fell asleep halfway through cooking it, seeing as 7:30 is past the grannies bedtime. The frog legs legit tasted like cat but were fun to eat because I love eating weird things. The best part about the meal were the rolls (some of us should have had a few more, not going to mention any names, ABBY). 

Sickass Frog Legs

The best part was after dinner. We were escorted to a table in the piano room/bar and immediately woke up. Have you ever seen a sea of women over 60 that have DD’s and they don’t shake when they move? IT. IS. AMAZING. I cannot wait to accidently poison my first husband, use his money to buy a new bod and move out to the California desert. My first stop will be the Nest. Sadly, my crush from the bar will be longgggggggg gone by then, but I will find me another rich hotty over 80 and trick him in to marrying me. I know Abby and Taylor are already fighting over their Michael Douglas look-a-like. 

This guy has to be related to Michael Douglass. And he was not ashamed to hit on a girl next to her dad...

At one point in the night, it was my birthday and the piano player was playing “Sweet Caroline,” and I found myself dancing with a friendly fellow named Murphy who was pushin 83, but danced like a swan. The night ended with us piling back to the limo followed by a session of road-side barfing. I was a good friend and noted that “It must be food poisoning” and quickly changed my mind as soon as we got out of the limo. Moral of the story: Palm springs= Fake tittays + old men and a hell of a good time.

Murphy, my date for the evening :)