CFA Spicy Chicken Sandwhich Should Be It's Own Food Group.

I spent all day yesterday getting mentally prepared. At one point (after I had opened a bottle of wine by myself) I found myself standing in front of my bathroom mirror psyching myself out. On previous posts I had thought I’d hit a low point, but 2 glasses deep in cabernet, standing alone in my bathroom contemplating a speech TAKES THE CAKE. So I decided to pick out my outfit for what will probably be the most important day of my life (Screw babies and marriage—I get to go to a special presentation for a sandwich.) I decided to go with leopard print, so that the cows would immediately think of me as their animal friend and offer me free hugs/food. I got both. Double Score.

Cows Love Their Own...

So, at about 10:55 this morning, Lauren and I got on Central and bee-lined it for The Richards Group. We arrived and much to our surprise, the joint had VALET PARKING. We were greeted by that magical Chick-Fil-A cow and a greeter inside and ushered up to the 11th floor. Stepping out of the elevator, Lauren and I looked like fat fourth graders that had gotten off on the wrong floor. Pretty much everyone there was an adult, give or take 5 people. We checked in under “Dining in Dallas Blog” and took what can only be described as the most unfortunate looking photo in the world. The cow grabbed us and they managed to snap a photo of what appears to be a fat black woman and her 7 year old kid. Woof. Anyways, we were given “Media Pass” nametags and went on our way to get our Lemonade. Best lemonade in the world (besides Eatzi’s pomegranate lemonade). We were told to mingle until the presenters were ready to give their speech, so we did and took dorky photos like we were Asians at the capitol.

The presentation lasted about 10 minutes and then we were able to TAKE THE FIRST BITE. In unison. So imagine a bunch of middle-aged, salivating patrons, elbows up to the tables, diving in to the spicy abyss that was the sandwich. Silence. Then the murmurs grew, and all Lauren and I could contribute was creepy eye contact with each other as we ravaged the sandwiches.

The best fast food spicy chicken sandwich that I had ever tasted before this was Wendy’s. We all know it’s legit, and awesome w/ their bbq sauce. Well, F off Wendy’s, there’s a new Sandwich in town, and it kicks ass. The Chick-fil-a sandwich has the spicy sauce on the outside of the chicken, then is fried, so there is no mess, and no sauce needed. And I am a saucer. Even the plain sandy requires some Polynesian sauce, but this one needs nothing. Except maybe another patty (oink). It’s spicy enough to make you need a drink and they were there to offer refills on lemonade and tea. Overall, probably one of my fattest Field Trips ever, but completely worth it. I might be on the news since I looked up at one point and there was a WFAA news camera in my face as I was shoving the creation in…Please don’t judge, you wouldn’t have stopped eating this thing even if Beyonce walked in the room.

The next step for chick-fil-a will be to make this sandwich translate across the board, because I would not mind diving in to some spicy chicken fingers on a lazy Saturday.

They gave us chips instead of fries--only downside.

The best decision I have made this year was to write this fatass blog. Hopefully it will bring more invites, free stuff and a movie deal (because everyone wants to sit in a theater and watch some random eat for 2 hours). If everything goes my way, in 5 years I will be hosting my own TV show that will be a mix between DDD, Wipeout, and Man v. Food.

The invitation

This poor cow got hot and had to sit down on the bench outside...I feel ya buddy. BEEN THERE

my fellow taster/little sister

THANK YOU JOANNA!!!

Chubby Chatter...Chick-Fil-A

      I have successfully landed every slightly overweight, sometimes lonely girl/boy's dream. On June 2, I will be attending a media testing for the Chick-Fil-A Spicy Chicken Sandwhich at the Richards group. 5 days before you Plebians get to try what I can only imagine is like sex on a bun with two pickles, I will be lining up to sample the treat during a work day. The tentative invite says it is from 11-1, so of course my chubbo brain is hoping that they will have some type of Man vs. Food challenge that I can enter and see if I could non-stop eat spicy chicken sandys for two hours. I bet I could average about a sandwhich every 8 mins, which is a total of 15 sandys (6,750 cals, 255 grams of fat). Just your average daily snack binge. Or at least my average calorie/fat intake on a Sunday. Anyways, I'm sure I will only get one, but I will for sure line my pockets/purse/fanny pack with foil to keep any sandwhiches that are left warm til I can share the wealth. Anyways, my Beefy Biography is sure to continue, especially since I will be getting my photo taken with a celeb (the chick-fil-a cow). The official countdown til the public release of the Worlds 2nd Greatest Idea (the first being the TI-83+ calculator that you could use to cheat and play games with in high school), is 19 Days, 10 hrs, 6 minutes. But suck it, average Joes, because I try it in 14.

P.S. Should I buy some Chick-Fil-A gear? I do look good in ball caps... Chick-Fil-A Gear

Great American Hero

When I think of "Great American Hero" several people pop in to my mind, and sadly, they all were stars of late 1990's CBS Friday night dramas. Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman, Texas Walker Ranger, and everybody's favorite cat loving/early newspaper recipient, Gary Hobson (Kyle Chandler, Early Edition). Sadly, none of My American Hero's greeted me at this Lemmon Ave. establishment, but the sandy more than made up for that.



When we first tried to enter the drive through line, Lauren and I almost died. I went the wrong way, then had to turn around, go 3 blocks down and turn back around. Instead of being deterred by our unfortunate routing, our excitement only mounted. If the parking lot is full, and the drive-thru is stopping traffic, something must be legit about this sandwich shack. Legit it was my friends, legit indeed. The menu choices are endless and as soon as I saw the 50000000 different bread choices, I started to sweat. MENU ANXIETY. As I sat there and pondered if they would allow me to do half my sandwich in a spinach tortilla and the other half split between wheat and jalapeno cheese, the window lady asked for my order. She must have thought I didn't speak English because for about 6 seconds I stuttered and said umm, uhh, before finally asking if she would allow me a moment to think. But I didn't ask it like "ya, can you give me a sec please," I asked her in a way that you would ask someone to give you their baby--"Oh, please, so sorry ma'am, but can I have just a minute, I am soooo sorry!" (All said in a fake, high-pitched voice). I settled on turkey, cheese, avocado and sprouts on wheat. I think mayo is for fatties (even though its usually the skinny ones who love it so much), but they had basil mayo, so I asked for a little bit of that. Lauren (one of the skinny ones) ordered Turkey, roast beef, cheese, lettuce, pickles and MAYO. Roast beef and mayo, La...Really? Training for a shot-put tournament are we? Anyways, I got baked Cheetos and she got jap chips. All very legit.

Bread--very soft, very delicious. The meat and cheese were freshly cut (shaved? not really sure what deli terms are used), and the avocado was ripe. All in all, this bright pink and yellow shack makes a sandwich that will be a contender for best turkey sandy.

Lauren's vote: 3 1/2 Chins, maybe she shouldn't have gotten roast beef, butch.
My vote: almost 4 Chins, I'm a sucker for good bread

I can't believe I almost forgot the most important part...Close your eyes, now picture this: A hot piece of Sonic crushed ice walks in to Eatzi's. She's walkin around, trying all the dips (acting like she hasn't tried them twice already today just like the rest of us), and she catches the eye of the slightly more refined Eatzi's shaved ice. Long story short, they fall in love and create a baby Ice, which is the perfect balance between shaved and crushed, with a crunch that goes lovely with a fresh diet coke. If it were possible to date a piece of ice, I would. So, thank you Great American Hero, for feeding my addiction and for mating two such wonderful ices.


http://www.greatamericanhero.net/Heros.htm

Anything that combines the word 'winner' with 'bread' = my best friend

More about that picture later...


Your food probably shouldn't suck if you have the name "winner" in the restaurant title, and Breadwinners is a winner in my book. My only disappointment when I opened my to go box--the waffle chips--for a brief moment, I looked at that waffle shape and thought to my self, "ahhh, Chick-fil-a sounds prettttty legit right about now." Then I realized it was a Wednesday and fast-food on weekdays is unnacceptable. So, I opened my to-go box and after the initial fast food fatass moment, I was delighted...my chicken wrap (grilled chicken, cheese, avocado, bacon, and lettuce) came with a side of salsa and ranch. And to me, that is like Christmas. Actually, better than Christmas, because you can't eat Christmas and it only happens on 1 day--this meal could happen whenever I so please. The wrap was huge, so I felt like a skinny little schoolgirl when I could only finish half. The chips were legit, tasted like thin waffle fries w/ Burger House seasoning. (If you don't know what Burger House seasoning tastes like, get out of Dallas or stop acting like you're from here).

Now, about the picture...since I don't have a picture of my meal I give you this one. Yes, it is from 10 Things I Hate About You (R.I.P Heath), and my story is about the middle guy, Michael. Do you remember that party scene, where he is trying to hit on girls using the line "I just got a Tercel...that's a Toyota." Well, until today, I thought that Toyota Tercels were non-existant, just some fantasy car that Warner Brothers cooked up in their lab. But alas, on my way to Breadwinners, I almost was side-swiped by a Tercel...and instead of getting angry, I creepily smiled and cheered to myself as the idiot passed me--MY VERY FIRST TERCEL. Maybe I'll sell my Yukon during this cash for clunkers phase and get my very own Toyota Tercel