Herrera's and Daytime Porn

Nothing says good Mexican food like a man sitting spread eagle wearing a sombrero on the front of your menu.

Where can you go for this cartoon porn-like picture? Herrera’s on Maple. Sandwhiched between the Old Parkland Hospital (now taken over by Trammel Crow) and Sunshine Cleaners, Herrera’s basically barely peeks out between the legs of Northwest Maple. If you can find a parking spot (there is a lot behind the building and 3 spots in front) you are in luck. Unfortunately, most of the people who frequent Herrera’s can’t seem to keep their el Camino’s in between the lines of the average parking space. Anyways, when you walk in, keep walking past the idiots who can’t comprehend the giant sign that says “SEAT YOURSELVES” and take a seat. You will be greeted by a friendly waiter wearing a shirt that says “I've bean to Herrera’s (the bean is actually a refried bean, creative). They bring ample salsa to compliment the greasy chips. We went with the entire office (my family) so my boss (dad) ordered 5 million orders of nachos, guac, and queso.

Apparently slipping in to a food coma makes us ideal workers. Herrera’s nachos suck, and I don’t understand why anyone orders them, or why I eat them EVERY SINGLE TIME. They are straight up melted cheese/grease puddle on top of chips (see below photo)

Nachos...aka I stained my favorite shirt trying to eat one

Then I feel like shit about eating the greasiness and have to start thinking about an order. Here is one side of the menu…

ANXIETY

Just order the fajitas…its way easier and they are the most legit fajitas in Dallas. But, if you feel like really immersing yourself in the Mexican culture, I suggest you order a meal after the most popular Mexican names such as:
Dee Ann: 2 Beef Burritos topped with Chili and Sour Cream (Woof Dee Ann, how embarrassing to have that named after you)

Julius: Such a common Mexican name, and also Herrera’s way of saying Flautas.

Rupert: Everyone’s favorite Gay Tejano, this dish includes enchiladas and tostadas.

My other favorites include Selena (an actual Mexican name, RIP GIRL), Nora, Mellissa, Mom, and Denise. All in all the food is pretty legit, super greasy but awesome for a hangover. They also just got their liquor license, so we are pretty pumped about having to navigate that parking lot after a few margaritas.

 Now not only do I have the urge to watch Selena, I think Yolanda Saldivar should be punished by making her watch Maid in Manhattan and Gigli over and over again with no Spanish subtitles. If you don't know who Yolanda Saldivar is then get a life (or just google "who killed Selena").

Primos Tex-Mex

Primos isn't great but it also doesn't suck. I don't have much to say, but any place that combines good margs and good.

Shit, I totally was going to blog more about Primos, but its not as interesting as what I can hear outside of my office. THE ICE CREAM MAN IS HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Avilas- South of the Border (aka South of Lemmon)

If you haven’t seen Triple D (Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives) you are an idiot. If you feel at all bad about yourself after food escapades, DON’T. While the host, Guy Fieri, goes to some of the most delicious looking places in the world, he can’t seem to keep the food he samples out of his platinum blond beard. Well, sometimes it’s a beard, sometimes it looks like a creepy playground lurker swallowed his face. Anyways, Avila’s was a restaurant he tried, but his report was mainly on the Mole. No offense to Mole eaters out there, but you are gross. Well, I guess you might take offense to that, but I still mean it—who enjoys eating a chocolate/mocha based sauce on an enchilada? WOOF, you shouldn’t look at yourself in the mirror.

So, my dad and I finally got a chance to eat lunch around 2:30 last Friday, and I suggested Avila’s for lunch since it is semi-close to where we work. The parking lot (a six car parkway behind the restaurant) was full, so we waited for a car to leave. Once we got inside, you could tell the place was going to be pretty legit—looked like the same crowd that scalps for tickets outside of a Cowboys game. They sat us down at a table for two right next to a pretty flamboyant young couple—so my dad was immediately a little on edge. The chips and salsa came immediately, as did a waiter to take our drink orders. Tempted to get a margarita, I sadly had to order a diet coke—apparently drinking during the workday in front of your boss is not acceptable? The waiter asked if we would like some queso, which, to me, is an obvious—look at me buddy, I’m a little hungover and at a Mexican restaurant, does it look like I want a side of lettuce with my chips? The chips and salsa were ok, I prefer salsa to really set my mouth on fire, and this one was fresh, but mild. We both ordered. I got a special plate with a fajita taco and an enchilada with some tostado, he ordered crispy beef tacos. The queso came quickly, and was a little thick, but tasted better with some salsa mixed in—not the best, but edible. Looking around, Avila’s looks like someone’s house, and is decorated very “Spanish-y?” The specials, which change daily, are written on a chalkboard in Spanish, so that wasn’t too helpful, and I didn’t want to look like some white-y that doesn’t know a lick of Spanish, so I didn’t ask questions. For 2:30, the place was still crowded, but the food didn’t take long.
The food was good—my tostada was supposed to be a bean tostada, but came like a cup of queso in a chip cup (more queso—I’m not complaining). The enchilada was ok, too cheesy, but the fajita taco was delish—it came with fresh pico which enhanced the dish. Before I could ask my dad how his was, his plate was empty, with just taco grease left. Clearly he wasn’t complaining either.


All in all, pretty good spot. You definitely stick out if you are: a) white, and b) speaking English. But, the place was great, really good service and nice staff. Legit Diet coke.
My rating: 3 ½ chins
Scott’s rating: 3 chins