S&D Oyster House

                If you’ve never been to S&D oyster house in Dallas, you are either anorexic or an idiot. Also, I hate you. If someone wants to go to S&D's I get as excited as I still get about Chuck-E-Cheese and/or Dave and Busters--they all make me pee a little from sheer excitement. S&D’s has been in Dallas for forever, and will stay there forever, un-franchised, unless some White Trash Houstonian decides to steal, and unsuccessfully run another Dallas restaurant. If you don’t recall, Houston tried to take Mi Cocina and failed MISERABLY (because Houston is miserable).

Delish Hush Puppies

                There’s nothing healthy on the menu, and it’s the type of place that is perfect whether you feel fine or are hungover. This place is basically Forrest Gump’s heaven, and even though the waiters are all middle-aged to ancient, I still want to jump each one of them when they set my food down on the table. When you get there, order whatever you want to drink (preferably a Schooner or a diet coke) and ask for crushed ice. Anyways, they have a huge basket of saltine crackers and three day old, iced down butter waiting for you, which seems gross, but it’s the only place besides a country club swimming pool where putting an entire pat of butter on one cracker is acceptable. Order the shrimp dip, you won’t regret it. I know I talk mad shit about fatasses who eat sour cream and mayo, so this dip goes against all of my basic human rights principles—it is a fat cow’s dream, and you can’t even taste the mayo. It is like cream cheese and picante with shrimp in it. Wow, that actually sounds disgusting, but try it, you’ll like it. (That’s what she said)  inappropriate.

  Skrimp Dip

                Then comes the odd part. Every time I go to S&D’s, I try to order the same thing, and every time I try, I get shot down, and shit gets awkward. I always ask for the kids cheeseburger w/ crispy French fries and they turn me down. One dumbass even asked me if I was under 12. I looked at her with violent eyes, made eye contact with her, then my chest, and looked up. No idiot, but I want the kids. Anyways, the kids cheeseburger and the normal one are the exact same size but I like ordering kids, I feel like my pants get looser when I order anything off the kids menu. 

"Kids" Cheeseburger w/ Crispy Fries--apparently I looked hungry (fat) and he thought I'd want more...

Whoever I’m with (sadly usually my dad), this time, Matt, usually gets the Shrimp Loaf, which is basically a fried shrimp sandwich with tartar sauce. Delish. All in all, S&D’s rules and is basically tied with CPK forbeing the best restaurant in the WORLD. 

Shrimp Loaf (shrimp po boy)

 Side note: Does anyone want to go to Dave & Busters? You still need an escort over 25 if you have a group of 4 or more...They have legit curly fries.