Herrera's and Daytime Porn

Nothing says good Mexican food like a man sitting spread eagle wearing a sombrero on the front of your menu.

Where can you go for this cartoon porn-like picture? Herrera’s on Maple. Sandwhiched between the Old Parkland Hospital (now taken over by Trammel Crow) and Sunshine Cleaners, Herrera’s basically barely peeks out between the legs of Northwest Maple. If you can find a parking spot (there is a lot behind the building and 3 spots in front) you are in luck. Unfortunately, most of the people who frequent Herrera’s can’t seem to keep their el Camino’s in between the lines of the average parking space. Anyways, when you walk in, keep walking past the idiots who can’t comprehend the giant sign that says “SEAT YOURSELVES” and take a seat. You will be greeted by a friendly waiter wearing a shirt that says “I've bean to Herrera’s (the bean is actually a refried bean, creative). They bring ample salsa to compliment the greasy chips. We went with the entire office (my family) so my boss (dad) ordered 5 million orders of nachos, guac, and queso.

Apparently slipping in to a food coma makes us ideal workers. Herrera’s nachos suck, and I don’t understand why anyone orders them, or why I eat them EVERY SINGLE TIME. They are straight up melted cheese/grease puddle on top of chips (see below photo)

Nachos...aka I stained my favorite shirt trying to eat one

Then I feel like shit about eating the greasiness and have to start thinking about an order. Here is one side of the menu…

ANXIETY

Just order the fajitas…its way easier and they are the most legit fajitas in Dallas. But, if you feel like really immersing yourself in the Mexican culture, I suggest you order a meal after the most popular Mexican names such as:
Dee Ann: 2 Beef Burritos topped with Chili and Sour Cream (Woof Dee Ann, how embarrassing to have that named after you)

Julius: Such a common Mexican name, and also Herrera’s way of saying Flautas.

Rupert: Everyone’s favorite Gay Tejano, this dish includes enchiladas and tostadas.

My other favorites include Selena (an actual Mexican name, RIP GIRL), Nora, Mellissa, Mom, and Denise. All in all the food is pretty legit, super greasy but awesome for a hangover. They also just got their liquor license, so we are pretty pumped about having to navigate that parking lot after a few margaritas.

 Now not only do I have the urge to watch Selena, I think Yolanda Saldivar should be punished by making her watch Maid in Manhattan and Gigli over and over again with no Spanish subtitles. If you don't know who Yolanda Saldivar is then get a life (or just google "who killed Selena").